Blaming is Adictive

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” – Dr. Robert Anthony

Its been a while since the last time i wrote here. Lets say i need 4 months to gained one single idea, and i’m coming up with this one. A blaming habit. We may realize it or not  that we often doing this thing in our daily. Start from a simple ‘blaming action’ until a big one that cause us trapped in a fight. To blame other person is to throw a negative statements which said that what others do is wrong. Once we throw a negative judgments to others we may feel that we are in a right position, we will feel better for a while by that, and invisibly it will create an addictive sense for us.

I am for sure have done this bad habit over and over again. One simple example is to my boyfriend. Well actually we blame each other for many times. A few days ago we had a fight and as always it ended up with a blaming action, finding who was the wrong one, who was the one that cause that fight, who was the one that should be responsible for that, and bla bla bla. Somehow we even forgot the main problem was and yap we slept with anger (and still in a passion to blame others).

Actually blaming is not good for our health (mind and our wellbeing). But since it’s addictive side that makes the blamer feels good, we often forget the unseen bad effect and keep doing it (OMG that’s so me!). Blaming looks so much easier than find a solution to the problems in front of us, that’s why when people get a problem they usually not try to find a solution at the 1st step, but to find a person to blame, and throw the responsibility to them. This is not good because we cannot learn anything from it. As we know God gives us problems as a learning way so that when the same problems come to us we will be strong enough to face it with ourselves.

From some article i read that one of a psychologist from National Positive Psychology Association, Neil Farber M.D, Ph.D explained a few ways about how to stop blaming. The most important thing is we need to understand and admit it to ourselves that we are the one who have the ability to take a control of our life (some kind about feelings, thoughts,  and actions). It means don’t blame other people if something happen to us (a problem, a failure, etc) and take 100% responsibility for everything that we experience in our life. All blame is a waste of time, it will not change everything. 🙂



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April 2011
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